SHARK NIGHT 3-D : Bite, but no Depth

Underwater, no one can hear you complain about what a bad movie it is...

An Active3D Movie Review

Rating (out of 5 stars): *

OK, so going in I wasn’t expecting anything of the calibre of Spielberg’s Jaws. Honestly. I thought we’d get a tongue-in-cheek vacation/exploitation flick – and hopefully some half-decent 3-D.  The latter two options delivered – the first, not. The plot, such as it is, revolves around a bunch of teens who take a vacation break at a friend’s holiday pad on an island in a lagoon. And then, you guessed it; the sharks strike. That’s about it, in a nutshell. I should also tell about the audience’s credulity being stretched beyond the limit – try this for size: (a) Guy X has just had his arm chomped off by a shark. (b) His friend comes by about ten minutes after the attack, and FINDS the arm in the murky waters. (c) The arm is completely INTACT!  (d) Guy X is on the verge of dying, because of blood loss. Somehow, however, he finds his second wind and leaps up and back into the water to do arm-to-fin combat with the shark – with which he is apparently very angry.

The first 45 minutes or so are entertaining because the underwater 3-D photography is creepy and effective (though a trifle dark), and the story moves along speedily, if predictably. And it’s largely enjoyable because it’s so damn daft. But the scriptwriters see fit to churn human villains into the silly, swirling mess, which only weighs the story down, rather than keep it afloat. And then it simply gets tedious, because we know exactly how the bad guys will meet their comeuppance. I had hopes that this would’ve been risible, tacky fun, along the lines of Piranha 3-D, but the fun runs out long before the risible bits do…

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